5 Secrets to Being Confident-You Didn’t Know You Needed

Tammra Reigh
Mar 12
3 min read

Updated: Mar 15

Confidence vs. Arrogance: The Difference That Changes Everything

My son is an incredible basketball player. I’ve told him for years—you have a gift. And when you watch someone operate in their gift, there’s an undeniable energy to it. It’s magnetic. It brings joy—not just to the person doing it but to everyone watching.

Because he’s young and talented, I remind him often to stay humble. A lot of people misunderstand humility. Somewhere along the way, we confused arrogance with confidence.

Here’s the difference:

Arrogance is rooted in pride. It takes. It needs validation.
Confidence is rooted in trust. It just is.

And the easiest way to tell them apart?

Arrogance crowns itself. Confidence allows others to crown it.

Confidence doesn’t need to announce itself. It walks into a room and simply exists, knowing its power doesn’t come from ego—it comes from something greater. It understands that greatness is a gift, not something self-made.

How to Live in Confidence, Not Arrogance

1. Know Your Source

My confidence isn’t in me—it’s in who created me. If God is my source, what do I have to fear? I am a child of the Creator of the universe, made in His image. The same energy that created the stars, the oceans, and the galaxies lives inside of me. Why would I walk around as anything less than that?

2. Recognize Everything is a Gift

Confidence is knowing you don’t own anything—everything you have is on loan from God.

Your talents? A gift.
Your opportunities? A gift.
Even the people in your life? A gift.

When you shift from entitlement to gratitude, arrogance has no room to grow. I don’t say, I’m amazing. I say, It’s a gift. And because I recognize it’s a gift, I handle it with care.

3. Nothing Outside of You Defines You

No person, no job, no relationship, no title, no material thing has power over you.

What God has put inside of you? It’s yours. No one can take it away. The world didn’t give it to you, and the world can’t take it away.

4. Confidence is About Trust

People think confidence is about how you feel, but it’s really about how much you trust yourself.

God gives each of us gifts, but He also watches how we use them. Can He trust you with what He’s placed inside you? Confidence isn’t just trusting God—it’s knowing He trusts you.

5. Let Go of the Illusion of Control

Perhaps the biggest trick that lulls people into arrogance and away from confidence is the illusion of control.

Control is a false sense of confidence. It gives people the belief they are all-powerful, that they can bend life to their will. I hate to burst our bubbles—I had to burst my own—but we aren’t as powerful as we think we are.

True confidence comes when you surrender to what isn’t yours to control. Some things are fate. Some things are destiny. Some things are God-ordained.

When you accept this, you can relax. You don’t have to grip so tightly. You don’t have to carry the weight of the world. Letting go of the illusion of control sets you free. It allows you to trust yourself more, knowing you only have to control what is yours to control—the rest is God’s work, not yours.

When you stop trying to control everything, you stop being so hard on yourself. You give yourself permission to keep your head high—not in haughtiness, but in peace, confidence, and freedom.

What Confidence is NOT

I learned confidence through a lack of it.

Growing up, I was surrounded by people who were threatened by my strengths, so they tried to convince me they weren’t strengths at all. They thought humbling me meant making me smaller. Dim your light so others don’t feel uncomfortable.

But true confidence is never about making yourself less—it’s about standing in the fullness of who you already are.

When I finally saw myself the way God saw me, I didn’t feel entitled. I felt grateful.

And that’s the difference.

Arrogance says, "I deserve this." Confidence says, "I’m honored to carry this."

Confidence is a gift. Trust it. Walk in it. And never let the world convince you to shrink.